Today is a day about connections! But like many things in life, connections these days come about almost organically. Whether you want them -or even welcome them- or not people connect with others mostly in ways that escape their control, and for younger people this can be hard to manage. Being in control of your connections seems a hunting task, but if we look at it more closely, everything that comes our way CAN be managed, and it definitely should be.
So the question we need to answer is not "How do we manage connections that are out of our control?" but rather, "How do we keep in mind that every connection (good or bad) is indeed manageable regardless of its nature?"
This is the question that we have raised over and over again, because when talking about connections we have to define them as experiences involving external agents that are present and may have an effect in our lives. From that definition, we are already seeing it as a manageable external agent in our lives, specially when you realize the fact that they are "outside agents." This is the key, and it is the root of our ability to manage them.
For example: Imagine there is now, at this very moment, a negative situation involving bullying in your local high school. Imagine for a second, that this particular event involves your child, and that he or she is being bullied, mocked, made fun of... or even hurt at school... Not a pleasant picture in your head is it?
Now: Imagine for a second your child turning around and recording this event in a notebook, date, place, people involved. Imagine your child understanding there is an action and a reaction and that his or her reaction will need to be one step ahead of the initial upsetting agent, to the point that he or she is calm, is analytical about it, and is planning the solution to his or her problem... Imagine your heart beating so fast in pride and in awe at your child's ability to evaluate the situation, map a plan of action to solve it, and proceeding to keep record in order to put that plan into action! That is a powerful image, one that goes from seeing your child as a victim and knowing he or she is a Strong and Confident child.
Keywords: Strength and Confidence
Inner Strength is the one trait that we need to instill in our children in order for them to go beyond survival mode and thrive in life!
Confidence is a closely related trait that comes with belief and knowledge. A child believes in himself and one that has knowledge about the resources available to him will be more likely to go through life less worried about outside influences because he would know how to manage them.
So how exactly do you manage the negative connections your children experience on a daily basis? By showing them how to manage them on their own.
Some steps are:
1) Educate them on the fact that we are all different, and that other's views are just that, "their views" not a determining factor on who they will ultimately become.
2) Instill confidence in your children by letting them know that they are capable of counteracting others' comments or negative feedback by consciously rejecting their own acceptance of the negative influence coming their way.
3) Educate them about their resources, at home and outside, so that they can better understand how to proceed in a situation of high stress. Let them know that the sooner they address a situation by utilizing the resources available to them the sooner it will come to an end.
4) Inspire them and encourage them to be creative. Creativity is the root of all solutions, and it is a critical trait in thriving in society nowadays. Encourage them to think outside the box, and to find avenues to navigate the situation while tackling it, not running from it.
5) CONNECT with them! Let them know they are not alone, and reassure them in the fact that asking for help is not a weakness, and that feeling blue, or hurt, or vulnerable, and admitting it takes a very, VERY strong person indeed!
We hope this has helped a bit in creating a new vision of yourself, your children, and all of those who can shift their focus, manage their connections in life, and thrive as individuals in any and every situation they face!
Much love and all the Strength to you!